https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWaEMLaEMJI, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCam0wiLXj4, and https://www.flickr.com/photos/dleonardisisco/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWaEMLaEMJI, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCam0wiLXj4, and https://www.flickr.com/photos/dleonardisisco/
Before my amnesia, if someone were to ask me if there were any good things about amnesia, I would have said 'no, amnesia is a devistating thing', or something like that; however, living through amnesiac moments, changes things. For instance, I just watched, "It's a Wonderful Life" the (1946) Christmas movie, starring James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell, Beulah Bondi, Henry Travers, and a whole bunch of other great American actors, and it was like I was watching it for the very first time (although I had seen it before the head injury). After the TBI (that led to amnesia), I always put off watching movies, because I had felt that getting back to my life, and doing therapeutic things, were more important things to do, other than watching movies. Now, I have the time to watch movies, and "It's a Wonderful Life" was a great, inspirational, movie to watch. It accents the virtue of giving. Supernatural events occur in an, enchanted, American small town, making the main characters, more, enchanting. That's my, personal, take on the movie. My takeaway from watching it is this: there are villainous people, who do villainous things, but there are many more good people, doing good things, and the good things outweigh the evil, bad, things. Personally, I would rather focus on the good, the loving, and the wonderful things, in this world, because thinking about the bad things, and the villains, is waste of time. Life's too short for that nonsense, and nothing, bad, happens until it happens. Then, the adult thing to do is to 'deal with it'. Until then, it's up to me how I'll live this life, moment to moment. It's my life, and my choices. I could choose to sulk about the things I can not change, and dwell on the hateful things that this world presents to human beings, or I can choose not to. Subsequently, I will be working towards helping to create my own lovely little, enchanted, dimension of reality within my life. This sounds like a lot of work, for me, but I'm looking forward to beginning that adventure. It will be like training for a marathon, and it's doable. You can get the 1946 movie "It's a Wonderful Life" at Amazon, just select the movie image below, to be transferred to that department. Another old movie about an enchanted life, that I enjoyed watching, is called "The Enchanted Cottage".
This was me at 5, before I fell into a, prickly pear, cactus. I had no problems socializing, back then, and I was more resiliant, but now it takes me awhile to bounce back. My memories are coming back, slowly, but surely. The most traumatic times, are coming back, fiercely, and first. Time and social immersion (via the internet), are helping to fill in missing pieces of a "whole picture" puzzle. I would have never said this, before the TBI, but I am so glad that my life has been made up of traumatic events. I needed to jump one hurdle after another, to instill in me the tools, experiences, and skills I would need to cope, persevere, and not give up in difficult times. Amnesia, is one of those things that is a life changer, and it skewed my perspective on life. I'm, still working on getting back 100%. Reelearning things gets boring, and it's hard to just "fit in". It's hard to exude credibility, when you keep going back to the past, just to go forward into the future. Especially, when going through a life changing event. I'm lucky that I've always had people in my life, who have wanted to help me be my healthiest, and most effective self. Around 2003-2004, after a couple years of therapy to help with the amnesia, I tried my best to convince my older brother, face to face, eyeball to eyeball, that I was fine, and didn't need his help. I thought I had it together, until he took a step closer, looked into my in eyes, searchingly, as if he was looking through the windows of a house. After a few seconds of that, he just tilted his head, took a deep breath, then shook it as if to say an unspoken "No". Then he stepped back, looked down to the ground at his feet and said, "You're just not there anymore." Then I tried my, very, best to convince my children, face to face, with all 3 of them right in front of me. I stood my ground, and like an attorney, I pleaded my case, but that was not reality. The reality set in quickly, only after I had stated my case, and then said nothing more. They looked at one another, and the oldest sadly said, "Oh - poor Mom." Then, all three of them came at me, tearfully, arms outstreatched. I stepped back, but my oldest said, "Come here. Come here." like he was coaxing a wounded animal over to him, while motioning to me to bring it on in, for the group hug. I was surrounded by these 3, who've known me, since the day that they were born. So, I let them rush at me, and hug me. It was there within that show of emotion, that reality set in, and that maybe I was wrong, and didn't know it. And, I started to cry, while saying, "Why is everybody crying?", because honestly, I didn't have a clue, and no credibility. During difficult times, as adults, we might fool ourselves into thinking we have things under control, when we don't. I didn't want to be treated like I couldn't care for myself, or my children, so I tried to act as my own attorney. I was fighting in court to keep what was rightfully mine, and ended up hurting my case, more than helping it, due to the amnesia, and other residual glitches, as a result, of the TBI. The plaintiff had an attorney, and I didn't have an attorney. I lost my kids to my ex, a house, a car, I couldn't hold a job, and then I ended up homeless-in winter. At that point, I was begging the people at the storage facility, that housed my things, to give me a job. They had known me before the head injury, and they knew that I had worked in the real estate market, previously. They had seen my resume from before, and they got in touch with some real estate agents, who they saw regularly. These agents gave me housing, and work. I would live in the houses that I was fixing up, and get them ready to sell. Things were looking up, unil they put me in a house that was well known to them, as having exhibited paranormal activity. It was a big house, and the painter lived on the top floor. I lived on the sublevel, or some people would call it a basement. It was nice, it had a bar, and a walkup to the pool, outside. I didn't know very much about the painter, so I bought a heavy duty lock, and a door jammer for my bedroom door. I installed them, and slept well for the first few nights. One night, while I was asleep in that, so called "haunted house", I was physically picked up and thrown.👻 It was dark, and when I flipped on the light switch, I was alone in a locked room. I ran upstairs, and asked the painter if he would help me search the house. He asked me, "Did something spook you?", and all I could get out was - "Yep.". Scared witless, I called my family, and accepted their offer, to help me. I never told them why. It's now nearly 20 years later, and I'm starting to talk about things like that👻, because things like that are more openly discussed now. And I'm certain, that painter is sharing a few👻 stories of his own, now. Anyway, that TBI happened, almost, 20 years ago. Today, I could hold a PhD, and still have a zero credibility rating, because I was a head injury patient, had amnesia, and still suffer with with the residual effects of that injury. So, I am constantly working on improving my social credibility, and approachability. Personally, in my situation credentials, and degrees, don't matter. Skills, experiences, and meaningful conversations, are more important than a diploma, and a diploma is just a piece of paper, anyway. I'm an artist, a writer, and I publish my own work. It's easy for me, and therapeutic. Hard work for me - is socializing with people, so I can pull from personal experience, and share what's worked for me. It's important that you are not fooling yourself, about how you really are, and that you are living, consciously, in the now. If you want to get better, you've got to do the work. It's important to have people in your life, who you can trust, and are happy to help put things in perpective, offering you a different point of view. Everday I work at getting better, at socializing, and accepting things that I have never had control over, past, or present, and I'm hopeful, thanks to the trustworthy few in my life.
Having health concerns, or problems, can be a depressing thing, especially if you have to spend long periods of time alone, or in bed. Depression is treatable, and you can talk to your doctor about it. Group therapy is a great way to remind you that you are not alone in your misery - plenty of people are wrestling with depression. Some depressions are chemical, i.e. major depression and clinical depression, but there's also justifiable depression, and seasonal depression; whereby some things, and situations, are justifiably sad. When I try to ignore the sadness, it surfaces at night, and I cry in my sleep. It's a problem, in more ways than one, because my pillow gets drenched, and I either end up with a cold in my neck muscles (stiff neck), or an ear ache from tears in my ears. I have used traditional medicine, and therapy, as well as alternative medicine, and therapy, so I know that there are things that actually work to treat depression. In the 90's, I visited a Chinese market, here in Sacramento, where Dr. He had an office set up inside the store, to counsel people, as well as prescribe and administer herbs, and other apothecary dietary supplements. Dr. He gave me some great advice, he said "Don't worry- be funny. You be funny - you be happy, you be healthy, you be younger, and live longer." He then told me to go to the library and read about humor, and funny things. Thank you, Dr. He, for your advice. Here are some helpful links that I have visited, and some books I've read on "Humor": https://www.youtube.com/watchv=9WzVMZunzaM, http://www.thinctanc.co.uk/words/comedy.htm, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_Jtcb_QZvY, AND http://tinyurl.com/port6r7
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What happened? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/12/rush-limbaugh-robin-williams_n_5673626.html, and http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2014/08/robin_williams_death_suicide_genie_youre_free.html#incart_related_stories So much controversy! Robin Williams helped a lot of people, brought laughter, and understanding, to a sad world. There are plenty of good things to say about this man. http://hollywoodlife.com/2014/08/16/robin-williams-memorial-service-private-family-goodbye-funeral/ I've been learning more about what he struggled with, and I realize that there are so many others, like him, that suffer in the same way Robin did, silently. Last night I listened to an interesting radio show, called "Coast To Coast" http://www.coasttocoastam.com/, broadcasted by the radio station KFBK, 1530 AM, from 10pm - 2am Pacific Time. Dr. John Gray, Ph.D. was the guest, and he has a brilliant insight on natural remedies, for many diseases, that seem to be plaguing a large number of people. Among the topics discussed, they remembered Robin Williams, and the health issues he struggled with, daily. Robin, wherever you are, this meme's for you, and I made it myself✌
Here is a sample of what Dr. John Gray, Ph.D. said, and wrote, "... By reducing the oxidative stress that was causing my Parkinson’s disease, I inadvertently ended my ADHD. It was a surprise discovery...." From "STAYING FOCUSED IN A HYPER WORLD" (BOOK 1), by Dr. John Gray, Ph.D.. and he's giving this ebook awayhttp://www.marsvenus.com/. To learn more about what was discussed go http://www.coasttocoastam.com/show/2014/08/16
Thinking happy thoughts, and talking happy talk, may transform my mind - and my life. It's worth a try.
Nice people, and good movies help me cope with an, otherwise, bad day. I seek out positive, caring, and lovely people who look for the good, and use words to help. Sometimes, a kind word is all it takes to turn a bad day around. There is a song in the movie, "South Pacific", called "Happy Talk", which is an uplifting song, and the movie is available - at Amazon. >
Everyone has such a busy schedule, but throwing a party to celebrate a National Holiday is one way that I can get together with my friends, and family.
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When Dealing With Internet Companies, Or Companies In General, It's Nice To Know That Consumers Have Rights
Here are a few links that might help you resolve consumer related issues: >http://www.ftc.gov/, >http://www.ftc.gov/enforcement/statutes, >http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?search=Consumer+protection+agencies&title=Special%3ASearch&go=Go, >http://tinyurl.com/o85uqfg, and >http://www.ImportantCover.com/
Tonight my daughter, and I, went to a Christmas get-together, and there was great food there, and interesting people. I haven't met many new people, face-to-face, since 2001. The residual effects of a, traumatic, brain injury haunt me - to this day. While I was trying to explain how I am a blogger, on the internet, and am responsible for any I.T. problems, what I was thinking and what I actually said, were 2 different things. What I said was, "I am the E.T. go-to person, and whenever there is a technical problem, I have to fix the technical problems myself." (This explains why I am not a day-by-day blogger, if anyone has been wondering.) Then, after that flying faux pas came out of my mouth, I stuttered and said, " I-I-I, I mean - I'm the E.T. person". After that, I kinda just cast my eyes down, and slowly said, "I mean - I.- T. per-son." We left shortly after that, and now, I'm thinking that I have a longer way to go - than I had, previously, thought.
Growing up in Phoenix, Arizona, I spent most of the Holidays with my Mother's, and my Father's, family. My Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins, all came over, to my parent's house, because they had the most kids. There were times that the Holiday parties were elsewhere, but the holiday celebrations that I remember well, were those parties at home. It took a great deal of work, but it was worth it. I was the one who captured the most, on film, when I was younger, and I'm going to get photos, and films, of the past, transferred to disks, but that will be something that will have to wait, at least until next year. I moved away, in 1986, and now, Holiday celebrations are small, my children, and I, have to work around tight schedules, whenever we plan to all get together, but I still take alot of photos, and videos. The problem that I face, is that I have to learn how to transfer, those captured moments, onto the computer, myself, and my computer is old, and the programs are out-of-date. There are free, online, sites to help with editing, and scrapbooking, but that is secondary to the day-to-day chores of everyday life, and sometimes the cable/internet just doesn't get paid. When it comes to desktop publishing, online, my budget, is $0, and money is hard to come by. Any money that I get, goes to rent, utilities, food, and whatever the home, and family needs. All of my online endeavors, are entrepreneurial, but I'm told that my persistence will pay off, someday.
All of the things that I have done, online, I have learned by doing by myself, for free, and with an old computer. I may not see any kind of a profit, for awhile, and there may be some awkward moments, that will be online for all to see, but I'm learning at my own pace. For more information on free online learning, visit > http://opensource.com/, http://www.gcflearnfree.org/, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Online_education/, https://www.open2study.com/, https://www.edx.org/, https://quizlet.com/, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zJGctdRVdQ and http://oedb.org/open/ Also, to learn more about free learning, by means of acedemic auditing, visit> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZmhUw8DVmo/, and > https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academic_audit